Being in this such condition, more or less, slowly but sure, makes me feel like Allah has got me in a better way. A better track for me to continue my life.
Changes in me, feel awkward at the first time, but I know as time goes by I'll get used to it.
These are things why I'm so grateful.
1. A better me
Back then, I was a hyper-cheerful-girl who really liked to talk to people. Especially in school. I always said hi to people I met, though I didn't recognize them. And when I'd talk to my friends, I always went.....hyperactive. May I say that, I was an attention seeker? Of course it's not good saying not-so-good thing to ourselves, but...yeah, I was being that person. Some said it's my specialty, after a long time I know it's also my weakness.
Now? Now I feel like.. I'm a more silent person. In crowds, I'd choose to be unseen rather than standing out. Maybe it's because of some things. I won't talk first before people say hi to me. I become... an anti-social person (just in real life, though).
But, instead of whining, I'm pretty much grateful. It's like, Allah has opened my eyes and show me much better things.
He shows me that I can be a better, more worthy person. He shows me that I can be more mature than before. And I'm on my way to be better.
2. A better future
I realized that, if I keep doing the things I've been doing for over 10 years, it wouldn't change a thing in my life. I do need a break.
And, at some point, I feel grateful I've made this decision. Because it really makes me re-think about what I should do in life, and this 'break time' helps me to figure it out.
Well, it hasn't come out yet, so many options here and I have to choose wisely. But I know this will be good. I just need to be patient, and keep believing, and, of course, do the things I can do now.
3. I have times to love my family more
Especially mom. I used to be a godless kid who spent her times with friends outside the house instead of spending it with family. I often hurt mom with rude words and acts. But now, seeing her struggling by herself, who else to be beside her? Me.
And now I know mom is the most precious thing in life I won't regret. <3
and yes, life is good. in our own way. c: