"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference" - Robert Frost

February 7, 2014

Chapter 6: Values and Beliefs (NLP for Personal Success)

Here comes the subject in NLP that I'm interested in the most! Yes! Check it out! :)

Values and Beliefs -- What are They?

When Bella was just a little girl, she once got scratched by a cat that she started to think that cat is scary. She got scratched second time when she was 10, and her brother also got scared when trying to feed some cats near their house. Because of the two recent incidents above, she then started believing that cat is a wild animal.
That's belief.

When Rene first listened to Disney Tarzan's soundtrack, she thought music was beautiful. Later on, she listened to Britney Spears' songs and thought that music was fun. Because of those occasions, Rene started to believe of music as a fun and beautiful way to express feelings, she began to listen to music more ever since.
That's also belief.

Believe is what we believe about everything, about anything, how we see things depending on our eyes.
When you believe that life is hard, then hard it will be.
When you believe that you Leonardo DiCaprio is an amazing actor (and also a great future husband), then amazing actor he is.

Point is, belief is our assumptions --our presuppositions, in NLP word-- about ourselves, about others, about the world.
Beliefs can come from anything, mostly from our experiences. Everyone has their own beliefs -- and it might be different from ours. We might not know that until we communicate with other people.


Then what about values?
Value is like belief, only it contains content of "how things suppose to be".

When we were just kids, we were taught to do well in school, so that we'll get a good job and we'll have a secured life.
(This sucks because everyone has their own conditions and circumstances, so everyone must be having different answer. There's no such thing as one-size-fits-all answer, remember?) (Besides, where's the adrenaline rush if we only live a safe-and-sound kind of life? :>)
But then, let's appreciate that kind of thought. Your parents (notice the word 'your', people :p) want good things happen to you and it's maybe the only thing they know and it's what matters most for them -- and yes, it's a value.

I was taught that education is important and that I must educate myself for my own good, but I must do it (studying/learning) because of myself, with my own motivation and my own purpose -- not because what others want me to do or to be.
This is also a value.

Some might think that family is what's important most for them, some think it's material things.
Some put their trust in God --simply because they believe God is good-- some just don't because of some reasons.


Why Value and Belief are Important in NLP?
As written in the book:
-They are perceptual filter -- they create our internal interpretation of reality and confirm it as well.
-They are distortion --our values and beliefs are basically our generalization (our distortion) to the world
-They have important meaning for us, motivationally.
-They give us the biggest leverage to change.

Values and beliefs come from our experiences, the place/the culture where we grow up, when we model someone accidentally, from our feedback, the people we are with, and even media.

Values and beliefs can be both bad and good.
Bad means it does nothing to your personal development.
Good means they make you become a better person each and everyday.

The good news is, values and beliefs can be changed. :)

By reading this post, I hope you know what your values and beliefs are, what you want, and what you're gonna do with your Vs and Bs to help you achieve what you want.

Happy changing, friends! :)  

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